How many times have you asked that question?? WHY?? Well now it's my turn! Why?! Why do we do the things that we do? Last post we talked about learning social skills. We know why it is important to learn these social skills, collectively. However, as we move through each social skill, I want you to ask yourself, "Why? Why learn this particular skill? How is it beneficial?" Well...
We basically do things for one of three reasons... its all about our ABCs!
A- AVOID NEGATIVE OUTCOMES- We do or don't do things so that we don't get in trouble! It's a valid reason. Example: "When you don't do homework, you get further behind, your grade drops, and you could fail the class."
B- BENEFIT TO SELF- We do or don't do things because in response to "What's in it for me?" It helps to have our goals in mind and reflect on how our choice will ultimately affect our goal. Example: "When you don't tease others, they are more likely to want to be around you and include you in activities."
C- CONCERN FOR OTHERS- This means being "other-centered" rather than "self-centered". From this perspective, you do or don't do something because you care about how it affects someone else. Example: "When you call out to get the teacher's attention, you disturb others who are trying to complete their assignments."
Understanding the REASONS why we do the things that we do can help us be better at choosing the right course of action. As we learn each social skill, think about WHY you would use that skill. There is no right choice...A, B, or C are all right answers. Whichever motivates you! It may just because you don't want to get in trouble... that's okay. If it motivates you to do the right thing, then it is a good reason. Find reasons that mean something to you and help you make the right behavior choice.
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